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Post by Maestro Triplet (Larx) on Nov 20, 2011 19:20:15 GMT -5
inb4thisnogoodaschopinorothercomposer
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ohaiduhg
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Posts: 119
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Post by ohaiduhg on Nov 20, 2011 19:55:33 GMT -5
I'm not going to compare you to Chopin or another composer, but:
Gimme the sheet music and I can give you a quick detailed analysis of this piece. Otherwise, just having the sound wash over me it just didn't sound right in my ear.
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Post by Maestro Triplet (Larx) on Nov 20, 2011 20:11:03 GMT -5
I'm not going to compare you to Chopin or another composer, but: Gimme the sheet music and I can give you a quick detailed analysis of this piece. Otherwise, just having the sound wash over me it just didn't sound right in my ear. Check the description of the video. lol
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ohaiduhg
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Posts: 119
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Post by ohaiduhg on Nov 20, 2011 20:23:27 GMT -5
theory time :3333333 brb
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Post by Maestro Triplet (Larx) on Nov 20, 2011 20:26:32 GMT -5
Lol Well, if you are going to reply, post some constructive criticism. I'm not really looking for what sounds good, or what sounds bad. Kind of just tips for improvement.
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Post by Touyato (Chao) on Nov 20, 2011 22:43:58 GMT -5
I really like this. ;w; Then again, I really like lots of Piano music. But I also like waltzes too. So you put two of my favorite things together ;w;
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ohaiduhg
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Post by ohaiduhg on Nov 20, 2011 23:49:37 GMT -5
Alright well I did a good chunk of it. Here are my main problems: 1.) TRITONE! You need to have this going on in your piece. V7->I!!! The V7 has to be V7 and it has to be there! You can't just end your phrases on v7 it sounds very weak. You lose Tonic. 2.) You copy and paste a lot. You don't need your piece to be lengthy. I have a CD of Brahms Waltzes and they are all around a minute long each. 3.) It is a general idea that if you have a piece in minor, you have some point of it in the Relative Major. You never modulate in this song of moderate length. You don't do key of the moments either. You aren't doing classical music and your chord progression suggests you aren't doing modal either because you have a ii° going to v7 as a cadence several times. Make it V7! Suggested actions: 1.) Have a dominant 7! 2.) If you are going to repeat don't copy and paste so much. Vary it up. 3.) Modulate! 4.) Mix up the left hand's rhythm a little. Just a little. Maybe throw in a Quarter Note- Quarter Note - rest ... or a Quarter note - rest - Quarter note for a section. Some stuff I wrote down.
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Post by Maestro Triplet (Larx) on Nov 21, 2011 0:09:07 GMT -5
Alright well I did a good chunk of it. Here are my main problems: 1.) TRITONE! You need to have this going on in your piece. V7->I!!! The V7 has to be V7 and it has to be there! You can't just end your phrases on v7 it sounds very weak. You lose Tonic. 2.) You copy and paste a lot. You don't need your piece to be lengthy. I have a CD of Brahms Waltzes and they are all around a minute long each. 3.) It is a general idea that if you have a piece in minor, you have some point of it in the Relative Major. You never modulate in this song of moderate length. You don't do key of the moments either. You aren't doing classical music and your chord progression suggests you aren't doing modal either because you have a ii° going to v7 as a cadence several times. Make it V7! Suggested actions: 1.) Have a dominant 7! 2.) If you are going to repeat don't copy and paste so much. Vary it up. 3.) Modulate! 4.) Mix up the left hand's rhythm a little. Just a little. Maybe throw in a Quarter Note- Quarter Note - rest ... or a Quarter note - rest - Quarter note for a section. Some stuff I wrote down. I'm not sure if you know this or not, but I have no training in theory... at all. I can barely read sheet music, so everything you said kind of went through one ear, and out the other. lol Although, I can guarantee that if I did know, your comments would have been somewhat useful. lol (Some stuff I did understand, though... and it's probably the stuff almost anyone could reply to, but who cares lol): It's not necessarily an attempt to increase the length of the piece. It's almost as if it's in my style to do that. Sounds weird, but it's a *bad* habit that I've obtained from using Mario Paint Composer, and I haven't seemed to grow out of it. lol That stuff I'll keep in mind. lol Everything else I didn't understand. :I
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ohaiduhg
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Posts: 119
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Post by ohaiduhg on Nov 22, 2011 5:40:24 GMT -5
It's easy to go on and on about theory this and theory that. It sounds boring then to some. Here are my suggestions played out. Sorry, I did this in Finale, so if you try to read the sheet music through the midi it might go insane. www.box.com/files#/files/0/f/0/1/f_1179349591I worked probably 4 hours on this. Quick list off the top of my head of things I did: 1.) The v7's are now V7's. 2.) Changed the form. You had like 4 bars intro and 4 melody. I made it a 4 bar intro and 8 bar A section. I didn't mention this before, but I think it sounds better if it's all 8 bars for sections. I only had to change the beginning though. A bit of your octaves part was a bit weird in measurements/phrasing, so I moved it around a bit. 3.) I added a D Major section using a transposed version of your ending part. It's a little different, because I didn't want it to be exactly the same besides the key signature. 4.) I made a bit of a tonicization going into your final part. 5.) I changed some voice leading in the left hand to be more classical sounding. 6.) I tried to put in some focal points. A focal point is the single highest note of a phrase. You only play the highest note once. Some of your sections you'd hit the highest note multiple times. It's hard to mess with this and not completely change your melody, but I tried a bit. 7.) I changed the rhythm up. Instead of all staccato I put long-long-short as a pattern. I also put in some other rhythm changes. 8.) I made your chord progression at the end make sense. I would still consider this only your song, though. Not much of anything of my own to it, only applied some theory to it. Edit: Here is the sheet music the form of a printer file. (.xps) If you run windows 7 you should be able to open it if mac or old windows... or linux then I don't know. Anyways, if you see it you'll notice there isn't a coda system so yeah oh well that's a ***** to do. So yeah here you go since I don't feel like writing it aaaallll out in noteworthy after writing it all out in finale. box.com/files#/files/0/f/0/1/f_1179433999
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Post by Maestro Triplet (Larx) on Nov 22, 2011 6:44:28 GMT -5
It says the file is unavailable. xP
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ohaiduhg
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Posts: 119
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Post by ohaiduhg on Nov 22, 2011 11:58:37 GMT -5
I don't know which you meant so I took them both down and uploaded this.
Took 5 seconds just print screening the pages and threw them together as a movie.
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